its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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