There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
