the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize