My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Sorry about my life...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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