Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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