My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
