This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
