Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
