Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
