Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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