I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
