She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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