morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
