Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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