Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
