I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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