Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
