Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
