Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
