I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize