lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
