even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize