she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
