that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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