It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize