You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
