You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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