wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
