shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
