Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
