i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I wish I only lived at night.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
