Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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