is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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