I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
