i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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