you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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