She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
