Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
