who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
