just tell him i said nine months
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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