Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
