Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
