No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Even my vagina gasped.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
