Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
