Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize