Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
