oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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