She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
