not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
