I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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