Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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