No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
