she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
