My liver just broke up with me...
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
