I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
