Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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