The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
