You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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