Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
