Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
