There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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