Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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