question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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