Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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